What's new?

Life has been rough lately but when you have have faith nothing can bring you down. Anyway I have really been researching about cleansing my body, I need to shed a few kilos. I have developed that little fat by the bra line so that's a bummer. I also bought this women's health exercise kit from the thrift store and man was I dissapointed 90%of the items that were supposed to be in the box were missing (no guarantees in these thrift store stuff I still love it though nothing beats a good bargain).

I haven't started using the kit yet because I got it Friday and I want to start it same time I start my cleanse on Monday. Plus exercise is not that fun for me I really wish to be one of those people who are really into working out they inspire me, their dedication is amazing. Iv heard that when you start seeing the results you are in, i plan on starting gym full time next year when I get back from Botswana. 

My cousin was buried today, I was sobbing all day today because I want there to say goodbye and the reality that he really is gone just hit me hard. On a positive note I really do believe that God loves my family so much that he had blessed us with such an amazing person, we will carry him in our hearts and memories until we meet again. 

On a lighter subject I have been very fascinated with makeup and I blame YouTube videos. Those women are gorgeous and they sure know what they are doing. I have been collecting some make up because I want to look cute for graduation, however I still haven't gotten the guts to apply it on all I do is the basic mascara and eyeliner. 

Oh I got this eyeshadow, blush and bronzed pallet by elf from winners for a great deal yesterday😊. Can't wait to try it

 

Grief

I don't know where to begin this blog but il write as much as I can without bursting into tears. To lose someone you love is the most painful feeling anyone could go through, it's like being punched in your stomach over and over again. This past Friday we got some devastating news that our cousin had mysteriously died and no one knows what happend to him. How can you be with someone then the next minute he is gone just like that. 

It still hadn't hit me yet that I will have to spend the rest of my life with this person who was so full of love and life. Iv never in my life met a person who is so selfless and I don't say this because he is gone but it is the truth. I always admired how he was sometimes I didn't understand how one person could be so positive. 

I wish I could cry as much as one would be expected to bit I'm just in a state of shock there is no way my T-man is gone. I can't imagine being back in Botswana and not able to see him or talk to him. There is always a part of you that dies a little when you lose a loved one you question why you are living anyway but I guess it's normal to feel that way. In time we get to understand that God's plans are beyond our imaginations. 

Death has a way of making one question their own mortality, my cousin has taught me that if you are not happy in anything you are in whether a job, a relationship or whatever it is then leave and go do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be stuck in a place of unhappiness. Il be very cliche and end YOLO live your best life cos you never know when you'll go. 

PS: One of the most devastating things is to live so far from home and you can't say goodbye to your loved ones😢

RIP T-man I love you to the heavens and beyond❤️😢

Live and learn

One of the most important things I've learnt is that when you have done all you can to achieve something and it does not seem to go your way, just let go and let God take care of it. Sometimes we push too hard for the things that were never meant for us in the first place. Whatever is meant for you will be for you, God always has a bigger plan for us and we should wait on his time. 

The other thing that iv learnt is that expectations are part of life. People can criticize you for having had expectations when it comes to important people in your live. I mean when you give the best of yourself to someone you would think they would return the favour, if they don't appreciate you then it's ok to be hurt to be dissapointed in the fact that your feelings or actions were not reciprocated. 

It doesn't make you a fool it makes you human the saying do onto others as you would have them do onto you has to mean something, if I'm good to you then I deserve for you to be good to me right? 

Well that's my opinion anyway, remember everything that happens in your life should teach you how to be a better you...XO

Little bit of this and that

Oh how iv missed blogging, but it's been a little hard to find inspiration. I think lately I have been pre-occupying my mind with questions that I cannot even answer. The quest for content is one that has been tricky for me to find. I long to be in a place where 'now' is the only thing that matters because it is the only thing I have control over, i constantly have to remind myself that yesterday has gone the past should not occupy a place in my life. 

With that being said, I think being able to admit what's holding you back then you are taking a step in the right direction. We are all a work in progress and being honest with yourself about your flaws can only build you to be a better you. So today I choose to let go of things I can't control, people's thoughts of me does not make me lose sleep.

Xo..

Quality over quantity

While growing up/maturity means different things to many of us, to me it's being in line or at peace with who I am. Not trying to change who I am to please anyone nor giving people's thought about me the time of day. Now this could have many repocusions iv lost a number of friend in the process of growing into the person I am. 

Although losing friends or just people in one's life could be a problem to most to me it's perfectly fine. This is how life goes not everyone is destined to be in our journeys 

and I'd rather have few people in my life who are authentic and care about me genuinely than a bunch of people who could care less. It's always about quality over quantity with me. 

God has really blessed me to have realized what really matters at a younger age. It's not only important but it's necessary to surround yourself with great positive people, people who will not only inspire you to be the best version of you but people who will root for you and genuinely want to see you succeed. 

 

PS the number of followers or friends you have on social media should not define anyone, it's a shame to want to be validated according to followers online by people you don't even know. I am enough just the way God made only I can validate that to myself. 

Life lately